Must Wait

Subjected to scrutiny
The forms die a 100 deaths
Techniques fear for life
Subjects become out of breath

Art should flow like music
They said

But my song doesn't get sung
In the tune they set

The shine of color Fades
in comparison with the lure of gold

The soft punching of keyboard triumphs
The hard strokes of brush

Dear art you must wait
Wait till I get the perfect lyrics
I will then set the song
And the world would want to sing along

Reaching Out!

Extending my arms till the tendons strain with pain
Calling out your name but the voice is inaudible
I arch my back stand on my toes
The body writhing with pain now
I want to reach out and hold you
The more I try
The more you drift away
I am frozen in place
I try harder
Reach out further
You drift more
I should probably give up
But I don't
The pain is unbearable
Its not the body
Its the mind
My will gives up
I fall
Limp
And that's when you come
To hold me to comfort me
Oh Lord!
I was never supposed to try
I was supposed to be just there
Present
It was you who were supposed to walk up to me
Hold me comfort me
Hah!

Bare it all

Bare your soul he said
Bare it all he said
Bare I would I said
But it runs deeper than my skin
Deeper than you can reach
Deeper than I know it exists
Even I haven't seen it all yet
I just feel it gently nudging me
Deeper than the depth I have known
I am waiting for it to bare it all
To show me the abyss it floats in
How can I bare it when I know not

Sapne!

कुच्छ  लम्हे थे 
कुच्छ  सपने थे
पलकों  पे जब  सजाये थे
कुच्छ याद रहे कुच्छ भूल गए 

यादों की परतों में 
कुच्छ सपने भी धुल गए
वोह सपने जब याद आये
तो पलकों को भी एहसास हुआ
की साथी थे वोह कुच्छ पल के
कुच्छ साथ रहे कुच्छ दूर गए

कभी  आते है  वापस वोह
लेकिन शिद्दत नहीं उनमे अब
जो साथ थे वोह हकीकत भी बने
सपनो  को छूने  से एहसास हुआ 
की साथी थे वोह कुच्छ पल के
कुच्छ जागे से थे कुच्छ सो गए

कुच्छ सपने ही रह गए 
कुच्छ हकीकत बन गए

kuchch lamhe the
kuchch sapne the
palko pe jab sajaye sapne the
kuchch yaad rahe kuchch bhool gaye

Yaadon ki parton mein
kuchch sapne bhi dhul gaye
woh sapne jab yaad aaye
toh palko ko bhi ehsaas hua
ki saathi the woh kuchch pal ke
kuchch saath rahe kuchch door gaye

kabhi aate hai wapas woh
lekin shiddat nahi unme ab
jo saath the woh haqueeqat bhi bane
sapno ko chune se ehsaas hua
ki saathi the woh kuchch pal ke
kuchch jaage se the kuchch so gaye

kuchch sapne hi rah gaye
kuchch haqueeqat ban gaye

Time to switch off humanity?

I am an avid follower of this series called 'The Vampire Diaries' (ya, I know). In the show the protagonist, Elena,  is now a vampire and has switched off her humanity, cause she wants to stop feeling. Yes, that does make her an insensitive bitch. But she is indifferent to any emotions and goes around with her life.

Sometimes, I feel if its time for me to switch off that humanity as well. Yes of course I wont switch it off in entirety, but switch it off nonetheless. Its better to be indifferent to people and incidents around you I guess. Cause most of the times, they are not worth the emotions, of love, anger, hatred, frustration, hurt, whatever. Just go about your life, concentrate on whats closest to you. No point extending the circle of what you 'feel' to more than the home. 

My sensitivity is like the egg and the chicken story, i am not sure if I am sensitive because I am an artist or I am an artist because I am sensitive. But this sensitivity isn't helping. Especially in today's time. Better to turn off the humanity to guard yourself from after effects of 'feeling'. Indifference.

I try

I tried
They held back

I jumped
They dismissed

I dared
They ridiculed

I fought
They sneered

I still try
And they laugh

But one day i would smile
Not laugh, just smile

Story of a Fallen Angel

He embraced her with all her wickedness. He loved her unconditionally. He gave her a name and a home. Her cunning games pierced through his heart, he still didn’t leave her side. Cause he knew, she would have no home, no name, no place to go.  He couldn’t live his lifetime, her evil play ate him in the end. She lives on, still plays her scheming games, still piercing through peoples’ hearts, she still lives on.

Devi nahi

Recently there have been numerous crimes against women... from strangers to families to in-laws... women have been at the receiving end... just a coupla lines for them

मै मै हूँ तुम्हारा साया नहीं 

मै चल सकती हूँ तुम्हारे पीछे पीछे 

परन्तु मै कोई अनुगामी नहीं 

हूँ मै सूरज की किरण 

परन्तु शीतल है मेरा मनं

हूँ कठोर मै शिलाओं जैसी 

परुन्तु कोमल है मेरा अन्तकरण 

सींच सकती हूँ तुम्हारे जीवन का थल 

परन्तु चाहिए मुझे भी अनुराग 

औरत हूँ देवी नहीं 

आराधना के नाम पे न करो तिरस्कार 

हूँ में भी इंसान 

इंसानों का दर्जा दो मुझे 

है मेरी भी पहचान 

बस उस पहचान की पहचान दो मुझे 

औरत हूँ देवी नहीं 

आराधना के नाम पे न करो तिरस्कार 

Mai mai hoon tumhara saya nahi

Mai chal sakti hoon tumhare peeche peeche

Parantu mai koi anugaami nahi

Hoon mai sooraj ki kiran

Parantu sheetal hai mera mann

Hoon kathor mai shilaon jaisi

Paruntu komal hai mera antkaran

Seench sakti hoon tumhare jeevan ka thal

Parantu chahiye mujhe bhi anurag

Aurat hoon devi nahi

Aradhana ke naam pe na karo tiraskar

Hoon main bhi insaan

Insaano ka darja do mujhe

Hai meri bhi pehchaan

Bas us pehchaan ki pehchaan do mujhe

Aurat hoon devi nahi

Aradhana ke naam pe na karo tiraskar

Ab bhi yaad aati hai

तेरी आँखों की गहराई अब भी याद आती है 

शामे मासूम की अंगड़ाई अब भी याद आती है 

उन लम्हों की बेपरवाही अब भी याद आती है 

आहिस्ता आहिस्ता नजदीकी अब भी याद आती है 

और भी लम्हे है जो यह दिन लायेंगे 

जो हमें आगे  याद आयेंगे 

अभी तोह हकीकत में ख़्वाबों को जीते है 

वोह सभी गुस्ताखियाँ अब भी याद आती है 

Teri aankhon ki gehrai ab bhi yaad aati hai

Shaame masoom ki angdai ab bhi yaad aati hai

Un lamho ki beparwahi ab bhi yaad aati hai

Aahista aahista nazdeeki ab bhi yaad aati hai

Aur bhi lamhe hai jo yeh din layenge

Jo humein aage yaad aayenge

Abhi toh haqeeqat mein khwabon ko jeete hai

Woh sabhi gustaakhiyan ab bhi yaad aati hai

Sher e bahaara

आये वह भी हमारे जनाज़े पे तोह सुकून आये

आये वह भी हमारे जनाज़े पे तोह सुकून आये

हम अपने ही जनाज़े पे हर भार बड़ी धूम से नाचे है

Aaye woh bhi humaare janaze pe toh sukoon aaye

Aaye woh bhi humaare janaze pe toh sukoon aaye

Hum apne hi janaaze pe har baar badi dhoom se naache hai




Ok, here is a little explanation for these lines.This comes because someone said to me that likha toh accha hai but what does this mean? Now, Janaaza means - funeral, but here I refer to it as my misery. So this is what the sher essentially means 


if you (lover/friend/family/confidante) come and share my misery it will give me some relief. 
Its always been me alone who has laughed off (celebrated) my misery every time all by myself.

Hasti

कुच्छ ठहरा हुआ सा पानी

कुच्छ सहमे हुए से मंज़र

कुच्छ पानी की लहरें बोल पड़ी

कुच्छ पत्तो की हलचल घुल गयी

कुच्छ देखा तुमने हमको ऐसे

सारी हस्ती हमारी खिल गयी

Kucch tehra hua sa paani

Kucch sehme hue se manzar

Kucch paani ki lehrein bol padi

Kucch patto ki halchal ghul gayi

Kucch dekha tumne humko aise

Saari hasti humaari khil gayi

Baagpan

बाग्पन में इन पलकों पे ख्वाब खूब सजाये थे

पढाई करते करते किताबों में drawing भी बनाये थे

फोर्मुलों में खोके हम बहुत ही पगलाए थे

दोस्तों के बीच बैठ के गप्पे भी बहुत लड़ाए थे

कभी तोह मिल जाये झलक उसकी ऐसे बहाने भी बनाये थे

Class से निकल कर रेगिस्टर भी सिग्न करवाए थे

जाके उनकी class में टीचर से बेबुनियाद सवाल भी उठाये थे

कभी कभी football की field पे टीम को पानी भी पिलाया था

सहेली से बातें करने के बहाने उसे फ़ोन भी लगाया था

सोच के लगता है शायद कभी अपना उल्लू भी बनाया था

अब वह लम्हे सोचे तोह होठों पे मुस्कान आती है

बाग्पन के वह दिन स्कूल की याद दिलाते है

Baagpan mein in palkon pe khwab khoob sajaye the

Padhai karte karte kitabon main drawing bi banaye the

Formulon mein khoke hum bahut hi the

Doston ke beech baith ke guppe bhi bahut ladaye the

Kabhi toh mil jaye jhalak uski aise bahane bhi banaye the

Class se nikal kar register bhi sign karvaye the

Jaake unki class mein teacher se bebooniyad sawaal bhi uthaye the

Kabhi kabhi football ki field pe team ko paani bhi pilaya tha

Saheli se baatein karne ke bahane use phone bhi lagaya tha

Soch ke lagta hai shayad kabhi apna ullu bhi banaya tha

Ab woh lamhe soche toh hothon pe muskaan aati hai

Baagpan ke woh din school ki yaad dilate hai

Khamoshi

पता है कुच्छ लव्जों में कह सकते है वह दिल की बात

शायद यह ख़ामोशी ज्यादा मुश्किल है उन लव्जों से

कहने सुनने की बातें तो होती रहेंगी उम्र भर

कभी यूँही पास में बैठो ख़ामोशी से

हमारी सांसों को सुनने दो तुम्हारी सांसों की सरगम

दिल की धड़कन को होने दो एहसास तुम्हारी करीबी का

खामोश इस माहोल में कभी हवा को कुच्छ गुन गुनाने दो

समंदर की लहरों को भी दिल को छु जाने दो

रेत में खींची यह लाखिरे धुल जाने दो

बस इस ख़ामोशी को एक फ़साना बन जाने दो

बस एक फ़साना बन जाने दो

कहने सुनने की बातें तो होती रहेंगी उम्र

Pata hai kucch lavzo mein keh sakte hai woh dil ki baat

Shayad yeh khamoshi zyada mushkil hai un lavzo se

Kehne sunne ki baatein toh hoti rahengi umra bhar

Kabhi yunhi paas mein baitho khamoshi se

Humari sanson ko sunne do tumhari sanson ki sargam

Dil ki dadkan ko hone do ehsaas tumhari kareebi ka

Khamosh is mahol mein kabhi hawa ko kucch gun gunane do

Samandar ki lehro ko bhi dil ko chu jaane do

Ret mein keenchi yeh lakhire dhul jaane do

Bas is khamoshi ko ek fasana ban jaane do

Bas ek fasana ban jaane do

Kehne sunne ki baatein toh hoti rahengi umra bhar

That Look

I know that look

I have seen it before

It grips you in its constraint

It holds you close

It analyses

It questions

It reserves its own decision

Look deep into my eyes

And I know what u are thinking

Ask me and I shall tell

Hold my hand cause I will guide you

Question my judgment & I will rationalize

I will be your balance

Balance the right and the wrong

Don’t just look at me like that

I have seen that look before

It hurt me bad

I am associated with one NGO that fights against Child Sexual Abuse called Arpan. The NGO essentially spreads awareness among parents about child sexual abuse and how you can save your children from it.

Children are very innocent and it is not only your girl child who is susceptible to sexual abuse but also the male child. We are looking for funds for the NGO.

I have tried to express what a child feels, when his sacred space is invaded.

My Soft brown eyes

My innocent little smile

I had these small hands

And my feet could barely take long strides

I held your hand

And just walked along

I trusted you

You took me inside

It felt so nice

You had big hands

And they just covered mine

It felt so warm

I wanted to giggle cause I felt so excited

You said you had a secret to share

I wanted to be the one to know

I wanted to know what you had to say

Then you got up

And touched me

It felt so warm at first

Then why did you shove me down

And showed me that thing

I was so scared, but I held on

Because I trusted you

You held me so tight

And rubbed me so bad

It hurt me

It hurt me really bad

I wanted to scream

But the voice never came out

I don’t know why you punished me

I think because I am bad

Don’t bad things happen to bad people?

You are here to punish me, right?

I will not say a word

Not a word to Mommy and Daddy

I don’t want you to punish them

I love them

I will take this punishment

So that they are happy

I trusted you so much

Then why did you do this to me?

It hurt me

It hurt me really bad

Please visit the links below and help our cause:

1. Male Survivors of Child Sex Abuse. a great resource - http://www.malesurvivor.org/myths.html

2. Story of a sexually abused child - http://www.mumbaikar.com/en/blog/post/shivalika-sharma/the-story-of-a-sexually-abused-child.html

3. Hope Runs: help ARPAN for the cause! http://bit.ly/53TAXJ #CSA http://www.bit.ly/HopeRuns

4. children silently suffer.... lets fight against ignorance. http://bit.ly/HRuns4

5. Sexual Offenders Use the Internet to Fast Track Abuse of Children http://bit.ly/515wEd

6. Hope Runs: Read more, support the cause http://hope-runs.blogspot.com/ & http://www.bit.ly/HopeRuns

7. Donate for the cause against Child Sex Abuse - http://www.bit.ly/HopeRuns

Naya naya

आज सुबह कुच्छ नया सा है

आज दिल में एक हलचल सी है

शायद कुछ बेकरारी या बेताबी

आसमान कभी दीखता है धरती पे

कभी लगता है धरती ले चली मुझे आसमान पे

होटों पे कभी एक मुस्कराहट आई

आँखें कभी इधर उधर मंडराई

जाने क्या नयी बात है

फिर भी आज सुबह कुच्छ नया सा है

Aaj subah kucch naya sa hai

Aaj dil main ek hulchul si hai

shayad kuch bekarari ya betaabi

Aasmaan kabhi dikhta hai dharti pe

Kabhi lagta hai dharti le chali mujhe aasmaan pe

Hoton pe kabhi ek muskurahat aayi

aankhein kabhi idhar udhar mandarayi

Jaane kya nayi baat hai

Phir bhi aaj subah kucch naya sa hai

My recipe...

http://fondoffood.blogspot.com/2009/10/jhat-pat-healthy-palak-chicken.html

Kisht

शब्दों की हेरा फेरी में

मुलाकातों की गुथी हम न सुलझा पाए

हमने तोह की थी दिल्लगी

पर यह रिश्ता हम न झुटला पाए

जो रिश्ता जुडा है हमारा तुमसे ज़िन्दगी

कुच्छ क़र्ज़ था शायद तुमपे

देना तो है वापस तुम्हे वो सब

मगर शायद थोडी और किश्ते लगेंगी

Shabdo ki hera pheri mein

Mulakaton ki guthi hum na suljha paye

Humne toh ki thi dillagi

Par yeh rishta hum na jhutla paye

Jo rishta juda hai humara tumse zindagi

Kucch karz tha shayad tumpe

Dena toh hai wapas tumhe woh sab

Magar shayad thodi aur kishte lagengi

Baarish II

ओक्टुबर की एक गरम दोपहर

एक चन्दन की माला से निकली खुशबू

महकाया उसने हमारा आँगन

जब थे हम तैयार धुप को सहने

टपक पड़ी छोटी छोटी बूंदे

देखते ही देखते बारिश बर्रायी

और भीग गया पूरा अंगना

काले काले बदल

ठंडी ठंडी हवा

धुप का कोई नामो निशान नहीं

अब यह देखो नया “October Heat” हमारा

मुबारक हो मुबारक हो

हाय यह बारिश

हाय यह बारिश

Octuber ki ek garam dopahar

Ek Chandan ki mala se nikali khushboo

Mehkaya usne humara aangan

Jab the hum tayyar dhoop ko sehne

Tapak padi choti choti boonde

Dekhte hi dekhte baarish barrayi

Aur bheeg gaya poora angna

Kale kale badal

Thandi thandi hawa

Dhoop ka koi naamo nishan nahi

Ab yeh dekho naya “October Heat” humara

Mubarak Ho Mubarak Ho

Hai yeh Baarish

Hai yeh Baarish

Baarish

सोंधी सोंधी सी मिटटी की खुशबू

टिप टिप यह बरसता पानी

ठंडी ठंडी हवा का झोंका

यह खिलखिलाती हंसी

यूँ तल्ल्येया में कूदके पानी उछालना

सर से पौ तक भीगना

गाने गाना

फिर जब ठण्ड लगे तोह गरमा गरम चाय

हाय यह बारिश

हाय यह बारिश

Sondhi sondhi si mitti ki khushboo

Tip tip yeh barasta paani

Thandi thandi hawa ka jhonka

Yeh kilkhilati hansi

Yun tallayiya mein koodke paani uchalna

Sir se pau tak bheegna

Gaane gana

Phir jab thand lage toh garama garam chai

Hai yeh baarish

Hai yeh baarish